How Many Strippers Do You Want Dancing at Your Funeral?

On Tuesday, a Taiwanese politician had 50 strippers dancing on top of Jeeps with special poles attached to the roof for his funeral procession. Is that enough strippers for a funeral though?

Mashable reports that the dancers were hired by the late Tung Hsiang’s son, allegedly at his behest—he’s said to have visited one of his boys as a ghost and demanded more pumps and circumstance to send him off into the great beyond. The funeral organizer’s brother, Tung Mao-hsiung, said, “He told us he wanted this through a dream two days before the funeral.” This does not officially confirm that ghosts exist, but Tung Hsiang reportedly “enjoyed a buzz,” so it sounds like something he would do.

According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, funeral strippers are not uncommon. In fact, China’s Ministry of Culture has publicly asked that people stop hiring them. As far back as 2006, China Central Television aired an exposé on the practice, which states it has “severely polluted the local cultural life.” Obviously, the performances are intended to attract crowds, which is seen as good fortune for a bumping afterlife. One villager told CCTV, “It’s to give them face,” adding, “Otherwise no one would come.” Wow, burn.


The government has been working since 2015 to stamp out casket grinders, but Tung Hsiang’s family did not go low-key for his send off, perhaps because of his political status. GMA reports that his procession jammed traffic in the Taiwanese city of Chiayi, and overall consisted of 200 vehicles. Still, not enough strippers IMHO! Watching them dance in unison on top of special sexy funeral cars is hypnotizing. Truly, Tung Hsiang gave us a gift as he parted with this earth, which is all any of us can hope to do for our fellow man.

Contributing Writer, writing my first book for the Dial Press called The Lonely Hunter, follow me on Twitter @alutkin

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Mark Shrayber

Like 15, max, but I’d want to be alive long enough to vet them and make sure the company didn’t just post hot pics on their website and then sent some completely different dudes to grind on my open casket (like they do with bachelorette parties, which is really unprofessional IMHO).