Yesterday Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti declared April 25, 2017 “La La Land Day” to celebrate the film’s DVD release, because that’s a normal thing for a government official to do and the movie studio still had some cash leftover in the marketing budget and Garcetti is probably going to run for Governor.
Garcetti instructed residents of the City of Angels:
“You can dance safely somewhere near your car, preferably not in traffic, take a date up to Griffith Park, fall in love with somebody or just with your city all over again. Happy ‘La La Land’ Day, L.A.”
Oh alright! Fall in love?! Today? I can totally do that. Somebody get Jason Momoa for me and let’s make this shit happen!
La La Land producer Justin Hurwitz was also on hand to celebrate the occasion:
“Los Angeles opened her arms to this movie in an incredible way,” said Horowitz. “This movie has that special magic, and the city was at the center of it.”
Oh shit, Los Angeles is a girl? Well now I’m DEFINITELY celebrating. I reside in this magical, special city and decided to celebrate La La Day the only way I know how—documented below for your reading pleasure.
7:00 a.m. I wake up for a workout because as Dancing With the Stars has taught us, the foxtrot is a great way to get a hot bod. Unfortunately, I don’t have a dancing partner and also I would never, so I stick to my general HIIT routine followed by some additional moves for ab toning. To get me pumped up for cardio, I turn on one of my favorite songs from the La La Land soundtrack: “Humble.”
7:50 a.m. All that twirling has made me extremely sweaty! I take a shower and get some post-workout protein in my system.
8:10 a.m. I begin my workday blogging for Jezebel.com.
1:00 p.m. For lunch, I enjoy a concoction of lentils, cherry tomatoes, cucumber and feta in a bowl. I throw in a Trader Joe’s garlic and herb chicken sausage on the side (protein is very important!!!!!). I also may or may not have had the rest of the pinot grigio from a bottle I had open—it was only like one large glass. (Editors, if you’re reading this: I didn’t do this.)
2:40 p.m. Crossword puzzle time!
3:00 p.m. I watch clips from Moonlight on YouTube.
3:20 p.m. Things take a turn as I try to get dressed. I’m staring at my closet and only seeing one yellow dress; its really only appropriate for high-temp summer days, and today it’s a borderline-chilly 78 degrees. I put on all black instead.
4:00 p.m. I get into my car and head out to meet a friend for coffee. There is no traffic and I stay in my car during the entire journey.
6:15 p.m. I head over to a panel at the Paley Center between Issa Rae and the president of programming for HBO, Casey Bloys. It is delightful.
8:30 p.m. On my drive home, I again stay in my car the entire time, which is how people generally ride in cars.
8:45 p.m. As I arrive home, I am rather irritated to discover the jeans I ordered had not yet arrived even though FedEx said they would be delivered today.
8:49 p.m. I get online and learn that my jeans will, in fact, now be delivered tomorrow. GOOD!
9:00 p.m. Though the event had some delicious hors d’oeuvres, I’m still hungry. But it’s kind of late to start a whole cooking process. I deliberate this conundrum with myself.
9:05 p.m. I put on an episode of The Office to entertain me while I try to decide what to eat. I have a few bites of Halo Top ice cream in the meantime to curb the pangs. (Before you ask, it was the birthday cake flavor which is obviously the best flavor.)
9:15 p.m. After much thought, I make myself some avocado toast topped with a fried egg and wash it down with some chilled oolong tea. “I bet Emma Stone would totally eat this meal,” I think to myself.
9:30 p.m. I start watching my taped recording of the final reunion episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I share my thoughts on the Bravo-themed text chain I have with some friends.
10:00 p.m. A phone call from a friend puts my TV viewing on hold. Among other topics, we discuss about how much we loved Moonlight.
10:45 p.m. It’s crossword puzzle time again! I do another crossword puzzle.
10:50 p.m. Fuck! I realize I haven’t paid my water and sanitation bill yet and it’s due today. I hope online and take care of that before things get too dicey.
11:00 p.m. I dick around on the internet.
11:55 p.m. I begin my nighttime routine which now includes this retin-oil that I highly recommend and use on my body in my attempt to achieve the real-life version of Photoshopped skin. I tell myself I’ll put away that pile of clothes in the corner in the morning.
12:10 a.m. Goodnight!
What a day. What a celebration. What a magical city. Thanks, La La Land!