Who would have thought (momentary) salvation from the worst two weeks in American history would come in the form of a pair of stupid flip-flops?

You remember The Dress. You hate The Dress! The Dress ruined your life. Damn, remember the days when bar discussion was dominated by a fatuous meme of absolutely no consequence for women or minorities or immigrants? Ha, no, I’m not screaming, that’s the radiator kicking on, does it every year. Terrible sound, isn’t it? Like a hyena giving birth to a litter of Howler monkeys.

Don’t argue about its color because you actually care. Argue about it to rouse passion, however nominal, for something other than this nuclear winter of an election.

I’ll start: They’re blue and gold. I’m right, you’re wrong. Let’s pretend this matters! Please?

(h/t Buzzfeed)