The human handlebar was sedated, and officials engaged the peen squeezer with an angle grinder, a saw and, eventually, a hydraulic rescue device that busted it apart. If you need the Jaws of Life to save your dick, you’ve taken a wrong turn. Though we don’t know why, exactly, the man stuck his penis in the weight—it’s possible he was just trying to build his lower body strength—here’s some advice: How about don’t fuck it?

According to Fox 11, as horrible as this likely was for the victim, it’s not something the Worms fire department is looking to repeat again either. In their post, they write, “Bitte solche Aktionen nicht nachmachen!” which means “Please do not try such actions!” No matter how much you want to, don’t fuck it, whatever it is.