Horrifying New Amazon Product Appears to Teleport John Mayer Into Your Home

I’m the dog.
I’m the dog.

In a shocking video posted to Snapchat and Instagram, actress Allison Williams showed off what we believe to be a new model of Amazon’s wireless speaker, the Echo.

While earlier models of the smart device (who answers to “Alexa”) offer Siri-like features such as quick research (e.g. “Alexa, who wrote the score to Carol?”) and voice-operated music (e.g. “Alexa, play Carter Burwell’s score to Carol”), Williams’s version has a new feature that shook me to the core: it teleports John Mayer into your home.


No word on whether Alexa can make other musicians instantly appear on the nearest chair, or if they have an exclusive deal with Mayer and Columbia Records. I suspect, however, that it’s the latter, as I can’t imagine John Mayer being selected for instantaneous home transmission if it were open to, say, Aretha Franklin or Dolly Parton.

I reached out to Amazon for more information about their unsettling new technology, but have yet to hear back.

Image via Instagram.

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man

Share This Story

Get our `newsletter`


Mary, Queen of Scoffs

AGHGHG! John Mayer suddenly appearing is my worst nightmare!!!

Someone gave me one of those Echo things, and I am SO GLAD I have not turned it on!!!! Thanks to your timely warning, I have now stuck that thing in the garage. . . except I don’t want John Fucking Mayer in my garage either. I am going right now to put the damn thing in my neighbor’s garage because I hate her. Maybe I will spray some pesticide too - what kind of repellant do you think would keep John Mayer away?