Honda Made a Car Just for Dumb-Dumb Lady Drivers

Sweet delicate lady flowers, now that you have finally mastered the art of pedaling your velocipede without showing your bloomers and fainting on the road, do you not think it’s time for you to try operating the great and powerful automobile? I know: Vehicles are terribly loud and masculine, what with their engines, wheels and oil. And then there are the colors! Heavens! Imagine driving a car that is red, silver or black! You would die of the shame of it. Oh, now don’t work yourself into one of your fits! There’s a man or – I don’t know if I’m saying this right – fac-tor-y that can help you and his name is Honda. Honda has built us women – the weaker, more sensitive sex – a vehicle of our very own and, thankfully, it comes in pink.

Yes, pink! The color of flowers, blush and breast cancer. What a relief to hear of a vehicle that a female can operate without appearing as boyish or like some sort of Sapphist. But what of the interior, you ask. Excellent inquiry, especially for a woman. The interior includes feminine embellishments such as a “pink stitched leather-wrapped steering wheel garnish” and a “pink plated air conditioning display.” Charming! Simply charming.

But what do we call it? Surely, any typical car branding is much to brutish for our sensibilities. Never fear! Honda has thought of that, too, which is why they’re calling it the “She’s” vehicle.

Of course, there are two more dilemmas that we must face. First, the She’s is only available in Japan. Secondly, none of us know how to drive.