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Hillary Is Taking Her Sweet-Ass Time Launching Her 2016 Campaign

Illustration for article titled Hillary Is Taking Her Sweet-Ass Time Launching Her 2016 Campaign

Hillary Clinton, who is not not running for President, is not not starting her campaign later than most candidates, because nobody in the Democratic field is mounting even the meekest of realistic challenges to her assumed candidacy.


Politico has the scoop from somebody who isn't unfamiliar with Clinton's not not a campaign. According to their source, the former Secretary of State isn't going to formally launch her not-noncampaign until July, months after the other schmucks who think they can beat her have worn themselves out. She's doing this, says the person not unfamiliar with the not noncampaign, because in addition to not having any real challengers, she, uh, doesn't want to "look political" before she must.

A huge advantage to waiting is that Clinton postpones the time when she goes before the public as a politician rather than as a former secretary of state. Polling by both Democrats and Republicans shows that one of her biggest vulnerabilities is looking political.



Clinton's eventual Democratic nomination is so assumed at this point—six-hundred-and-fucking-forty-nine days before Election Day 2016— that Politico speculates she may not even have to debate before the primaries begin.

Clinton 2016: Because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Image via Getty.


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Look, I would rather have Hillary than some fuckface like Ted Cruz or Jeb Bush, or whatever old, white guy sounds the stupidest. But is the way we really want to work? As a pre-chosen, faux democracy? I suppose so. Good luck to the Kingdom, and as much as I cannot believe I am saying this, Barack, I will miss you. Earned my respect over the last few years. Big time.