Hillary Clinton is Selling Pantsuit Tees and 'Shattered Glass' Tumblers

Any political strategist will tell you the most important part of any presidential campaign is the lifestyle brand. A candidate isn’t truly running for the country’s highest elected office until their name is stitched, stuck, or printed all over their supporters’ bodies, homes, offices, and cars. With the launch of Hillary Clinton’s official merch store, her campaign has officially begun.

The site opens with a simple call to all to action:

Kick off campaign season in style! Show your support for Hillary wherever you go.


Her brand’s manifesto isn’t quite as conceptual as Reese Witherspoon’s or Blake Lively’s, but it’ll do. Now let’s move on to the products.

The first step to living that Radical Rodham Lifestyle™ is dressing the part. And because Hillary is all about everyday clothes that everyday Americans can afford, that means t-shirts, t-shirts, t-shirts!


Since there’s 532 days until the election, do the math and figure out how many you’ll need based on your wash cycles.

What’s that? You can’t live on just t-shirts? We still have to slog through one more winter before this thing? Hil’s got you covered.


But being a Rodhamaniac isn’t just about dressing like one, it’s about living like one. As Maggie Smith said in The First Wives Club, “Your home is your calling card.” Show your commitment to the lifestyle by filling it with Hilloriginals™ like this:


And—this is important—until the election you must only drink out of glassware made from “100% shattered glass ceilings.”


If you’re home looks like this, you’re living life right:


Images via HillaryClinton.com

Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.

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