High Schools Feed Students Old-Ass Meat

So many things happened in 2009. President Obama was inaugurated. Bea Arthur and Michael Jackson both died. Swine flu was a global pandemic. It was also the year a pork roast that was recently served to high school students had made its first appearance. The vintage meat had been frozen for six years before it was thawed out and served to multiple schools in Tennessee last week. Can you imagine eating meat that has been hanging around since The King of Pop and Dorothy Zbornak left this planet?

According to WBIR, one school decided to not serve the meat while other schools still did. A lady said it stank so bad, the school’s cafeteria staff ended up using gravy to hide the stench and make it taste better. Besides the fact that it came from the year of the iPhone 3GS, bad-smelling meat is usually a good indicator that you should throw that shit in the trash. The school board immediately established new guidelines for food, which included throwing out expired items and not keeping meat longer than a year. There have been no reports yet of students becoming ill or vegans after the incident.