Heroin-Laced Bible Plot Foiled by Dog

Illustration for article titled Heroin-Laced Bible Plot Foiled by Dog

Two people in a far-away land called "southwest Ohio" attempted to smuggle a heroin-laced Bible into the county jail. A seemingly brilliant criminal plan, yet their plan was foiled by a brave drug-sniffing dog. The heroic dog noticed that the Bible did not emanate its usual, sweet scent of holiness. Rather it reeked of the abomination of mankind. The Bible smelled like heroin.

Hamilton County sheriff's office spokesman, Mike Robison, told the AP that the "book was sent to the coroner's office for testing after the officer noticed a coffee-like stain." Foiled again, criminals! No one in southwest Ohio would ever stain the word of the Lord with coffee.

The narcotics united determined that the Bible had between 30 to 40 hits of the narcotic.


Image via Getty.

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Emma Golddigger

Next time just half-ass it and smuggle some Oxycontin to jail in the Book of Mormon.