Herman Cain Accuses Woman of Accusing Him of Having An Affair

Illustration for article titled Herman Cain Accuses Woman of Accusing Him of Having An Affair

In a crazy like a fox bit of public relations juking, Presidential candidate and meaty pizza enjoyer Herman Cain announced live on CNN that he's about to be accused of having an extended affair with a woman who he thought was his friend. Isn't that sort of like breaking a vase in front of your sister and then running to tell your mom that you broke the vase in order to deny her the satisfaction of tattling? I mean, you still broke the vase, Herman. You're still not getting an allowance this week.


Cain told Wolf Blitzer that the woman who is about to go public with the accusations was an acquaintance, someone who he thought was his friend, and that she's about to accuse him of having an extended affair with him. I pray to everything that I hold sacred that this accusation isn't the precursor to America being subjected to descriptions of Herman Cain's penis and jokes about him not knowing anything about Libya, but certainly knowing all about Labia. Shudder.

And the Cain campaign's dry erase board that announces how many days have passed since an accusation of impropriety gets again erased with a sigh and redrawn with a big round 0.

Cain says he has been accused of having an affair [CNN]

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This is going into my toolbox. It's good, I think, to make mental notes about how different politicians handle this stuff. After all this time, political infidelity is still handled in a different way each time.

Anthony Weiner - Badly handled. Trademark righteous indignation now much less righteous.

Mark Sanford - Bad. Who goes to the Appalachias?

Herman Cain - Sort of well played!

Interesting to think that, should any of us pursue a political future, most of our future scandals have already happened. They are each titled "I was a 20 something unmarried woman and left my home occasionally."

So when the day comes and I'm accused of all manner of things that actually transpired, my response will be: "That is a stunning accusation." Enough. Said.