I know you didn't ask for this, but much like Christian Grey, Andy Cohen knows what's best for you. Please just enjoy this thrilling marketing mashup of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Fifty Shades of Grey, in which fancy lady Lisa Vanderpump and professional crier Kyle Richards put on their comically lavish pajamas and find a desperate sociopath Vanderpump Rules' Jax Taylor to act as their "manservant."

The two Real Housewives do their best to make Fifty Shades sound like a quality piece of literature as they plan a fake girl's night out. Again, I know you didn't ask for this.

To be fair, you do have to hand it to both Bravo and Universal Pictures: this is very on-brand for both of them, and they sure know their audience. I have to believe that the overlap between Fifty Shades of Grey readers and Real Housewives watchers is enormous.

If the first promo wasn't unnecessary enough for you, there's another video that involves feet and leashes. I'll leave it at that.