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Here's Olivia Jade's Fictitious Rowing Resume

Illustration for article titled Heres Olivia Jades Fictitious Rowing Resume
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Federal prosecutors must have decided we needed a lift on this dark and stormy Monday, because they’ve finally released Olivia Jade’s extremely fake rowing résumé. Thanks guys, I needed this.

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According to the documents, obtained by Us Weekly, Olivia is a “highly talented and has been successful in both men’s and women’s boats.” (This isn’t even true in the larger sense, since she happened to be on a USC chairman’s yacht when the news about her place in the college admissions scandal broke.)

The document goes on to allege that Olivia Jade won two gold medals, in 2014 and 2016, in the San Diego Crew Classic regatta as well as a silver medal in 2015. It further claims that she won various other medals during her four years in high school, in addition to listing her skills as “awareness, organization, direction and steering.”

At the end of the résumé, the social media personality claims that her sister, Bella, 21, “is currently on our [USC] roster and fills the position of our #4 boat.”

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What baffles me is how easily disprovable these facts seem to be. Gold metals in the San Diego Crew Classic regatta? Is this information not available online? (It totally is.) Aunt Becky paid how much for this? It’s not even a harp lie! [Us Weekly]


I don’t know why it amuses me that Kim Kardashian is horrified by the fact that Foodgod, née Jonathan Cheban, like horse meat, but it does and here we are. Per the New York Post,

“People should not be eating horse, but I had to try it,” the professional eater told The Post at the Palm Angels show during New York Fashion Week. “It’s a little rough. Very grainy and weird.”

Horrified Kim refused to taste it at the trendy Reykjavik restaurant that served the meat. She even Snapchatted, “Oh my god I’m so sad” when her pal chowed down.

Whatever Kim, just think of it as a cow with nicer hair. [The New York Post]


  • Jon Peters does not sound like a fun dude to be married to, even for nine days. [Page Six]
  • Martha Stewart looks amazing. [Page Six]

Night blogger at Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

kristinbytes
kristinbytes

Icelandic horses are super cute.

I’d pass on eating horse but I know that’s more cultural than anything as it’s probably more humane and environmental sustainable to eat the occasional free roaming horse than industrial farmed and slaughtered cows and pigs. Vegetarians, however, can judge away.