Here's How All Your Favorite Celebs Spent the Day Drenched in the Blood of Jesus Christ

Illustration for article titled Here's How All Your Favorite Celebs Spent the Day Drenched in the Blood of Jesus Christ
Screenshot: Instagram

Sunday was Easter, which is a holiday about being showered with blood, and the screams of the crucified, and finding ghosts in caves. Normal people celebrate it, celebrities celebrate it—it’s a holiday for everyone!

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Here’s what those celebrities were up to yesterday.

First up is one Vanessa Hudgens, who popped outside for a little bunny fun in the sun:

Jennifer Garner made some Easter bread out of dead rabbits:

The Easter bunny broke into Mariah Carey’s home and gave her some puppies:

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Reese Witherspoon found a stray rabbit:

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Here’s Dorinda Medley:

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They have Easter in Londontown?

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Madonna was certifiably weird about it:

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Aw, this photo of Gabrielle Union and the fam is so sweet!

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Now you’re all caught up! Clap for the celebrities and the holiday and make sure to go inside and wash all that blood off when this is finished.


It’s kind of weird that celebrities don’t even interview celebrities anymore, having wholesale replaced journalists in the process. The new world order means a celebrity profile is other celebrities just complimenting a person, which I’m sure works for someone like Jennifer Lopez, but is utterly boring to read.

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In a new InStyle cover story titled “Jennifer Lopez In Her Own Words (and Everyone Else’s),” here’s what the famouses had to say:

Tyler Posey (co-star in Maid in Manhattan, 2002): I worked with Jennifer when I was 10 years old. She was always on time and always gave 1,000 percent when she was acting or talking to someone lower than her pay grade. Everyone was treated equally. About halfway through the shoot, she bought me an Xbox! I couldn’t believe it.

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Ok.

Marc Anthony (singer and ex-husband): The thing about Jennifer is her ability to see and understand things before they happen. Before she even brings an idea up, she has visualized it a thousand times. And if anyone says it might not be the greatest idea, she’ll say, “You just don’t see it yet.” Nine times out of 10, she’ll nail it. She’s the first one in the room and the last to leave. The hardest worker I’ve ever met. When we were together, it was quite the opposite for me. That has changed since. I learned so much from her. She’s the original!

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Sure, why not.

Michelle Obama: The world knows that Jennifer is blessed with many gifts — talent, beauty, and an unparalleled work ethic. But what impresses me the most about her is her unwavering commitment to leverage those gifts and use her platform to give voice to the voiceless. Whether it’s working to improve health care for mothers and children, encouraging more people to vote, or singing her heart out at a presidential inauguration, Jennifer has always known that life is best when it’s shared with others.

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I mean, if you really want to Michelle, I can’t stop you.

Ben Affleck (ex-fiancé and co-star in Gigli, 2003): I thought I had a good work ethic, but I was completely humbled and blown away by what she was committed to doing day in and day out, the seriousness in which she took her work, the quiet and dedicated way she went about accomplishing her goals, and then how she would go back and redouble her efforts. She remains, to this day, the hardest-working person I’ve come across in this business. She has great talent, but she has also worked very hard for her success, and I’m so happy for her that she seems, at long last, to be getting the credit she deserves.

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This is getting to be too much.

Matthew McConaughey (co-star in The Wedding Planner): Jennifer Lopez — what can she not do? Extremely deliberate, intentional, fully choreographed, and self-aware, she even knows how to make accidents look like accidents. When we acted in scenes together, she would turn in take after take as if timed on a meter, 1:01, 1:00, 1:02, 1:01…yet you couldn’t tell that she was keeping a clock. Her success is not happenstance.

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ENOUGH!!!

Lili Reinhart (co-star in Hustlers): Jennifer never flubbed a line when I worked with her. Even shooting late into the night, she was always in good spirits and had high energy. Can we please do a Hustlers reunion at a strip club when the pandemic ends?

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As for the rest, Lopez also received compliments courtesy of Fat Joe, Ryan Seacrest, Constance Wu, Olivier Rousteing, Donatella Versace, Leah Remini, and more.

I hope they all had a good time with this, at least!


  • DMX is still in the hospital. [ET]
  • Andy Cohen has some words about Jen Shah. [Page Six]
  • This just makes me so fucking sad, dude. [Page Six]
  • More Chrissy Teigen news. [People]

DISCUSSION

filthyharry
FilthyHarry

The way I see it, it’s like x-mas: Christians want to shove it down everyone’s throat? Fine, it doesn’t belong to you anymore, now it’s everyone’s. We celebrate x-mas every year and my son was into double digits before he found out that for some people there is an unrelated religious connotation.

Same with Easter. It’s all about bunnies, eggs and chocolate now.

Also, get off my lawn.

P.S. Dagnabit.