Here's a Nice Reminder That It's Been a Very Long Century

Time moves at once like a sweaty, sticky bucket of molasses and the bolt of lightning that just flashed outside my window. The last few years have felt like a millennium, and yet, it seems like only just yesterday I drank a bucket of Jungle Juice in a college hookup’s dorm room while watching Barack Obama’s first inauguration. At some point, I threw up all the Jungle Juice. A more innocent era, indeed! Anyway, I am now 1000, and Sasha Obama is old enough to go to prom.

Here she is, going to prom!

Oh, hm, there seems to be a little something in my eye.

According to Celebitchy, Sasha’s extremely lucky date is one Chris Milton, who is hopefully slightly less opportunistic re: having a famous companion than some people. (Looking at you, Malia Obama’s “friends.”)

When the Obamas moved into the White House in 2009, Sasha was only seven years old, and the youngest person to live in the White House since John F. Kennedy Jr. Now she proms, and the rest of us decay—some more quickly than others.