Does the Daily Mail send a photographer to full-time camp out in the Buckingham palace parking lot? Because here are previous photos of the royal family in cars, with a subset of the Queen driving around like a fucking baller. On this outing, they made merry with a joke! They’re just like us.
They are still getting divorce, sorry guys. The National Enquirer hopes that Angelina Jolie will go back to women, but more importantly, does anybody else desperately fantasize that Brad Pitt and Frank Ocean are secretly in love and will be together forever and ever and ever?
Jeremy R. Lindholm, who had a stint as Mickey on the new Twin Peaks (also a “background actor” on Z Nation), is facing attempted murder charges after a local business released surveillance footage of him beating his girlfriend with a baseball bat, Page Six reports. Supposedly because she wouldn’t get him Kool-Aid.
- Leah Remini, former Scientologist, star of King of Queens, and Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath, calls Tom Cruise “diabolical.” Well...yeah. [Fox News]
- Amy Schumer is moving a shitton of tickets on Broadway, confirming our conclusion that we are never going to see it. [New York Post]
- Comedian and civil rights activist Dick Gregory has died at 84 and was performing all the way up until the end. [New York Times]
- Miss America judges have been announced: American Idol winner Jordin Sparks, actress/model Molly Sims, People editor Jess Cagle, and Thomas Rhett (whose new album happens to be timed right before the pageant, ofc). [Page Six]
Correction: a previous version of this post incorrectly suggested Donald Trump once owned the Miss America Pageant. Jezebel regrets the error.