Demi Lovato sang next to a boner over the weekend and it wasn’t Wilmer Valderrama’s. While performing at The Monster, a gay bar New York City, she found herself surrounded go-go dancers—one of whom was more excited than all the others.
Lovato, ever a professional, didn’t call much attention to the boner or the human attached to it, but did catch a single glance soon after it appeared beside her.
Though boners come in all shapes and sizes and can be threatening and unpleasant, most of them are just funny. So if you ever find yourself in a boner-friendly environment and notice a non-threatening one having a grand old time beside you, don’t feel the need to ignore it as Demi did. Look at the boner! Laugh at it. Celebrate its confidence.
Speaking of boners, Marc Jacobs hosted a 10-person orgy and invited people via Grindr. He commemorated the event by posting a photo to Instagram that—in addition to being on of the strangest things I’ve ever seen in my life—said, “Goodbye (for now) Grindr! It was fun for ‘group’ get togethers, but what really excites me is my work!”
A person claiming to have been an attendee described the event to Page Six:
“Everyone was in their 20s,” said the source, who claimed the party raged at Jacobs’ home and lasted from the weekend into Sunday morning.
But “people weren’t as good-looking as I expected,” the source sighed. “I expected Lorenzo Martone beautiful. They were average, chill people who didn’t have any attitude, which was really nice.
After Jacobs saw the Page Six story, which used the headline “Marc Jacobs hosts wild orgy,” he took to Instagram (he loves taking to Instagram) to correct some of their reporting:
What really excites me is my work! What really excites me is my work! What really excites me is my work! It’s like the opposite of “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” but somehow equally as terrifying.
Bette Midler doesn’t think you should expect Hocus Pocus 2 anytime soon, you sex-havers.
By the way, Bette Midler is a joy to follow on Twitter because all her tweets are just...jokes. Like, pure, old school one-liners you imagine delivered with some kind of half-smile and wacky shoulder move.
- Hillary Clinton would love for you to attend her birthday party, but you’ll have to bring $2,700 and maybe a six-pack just to be nice. [Page Six]
- Tyga gives “zero fucks” about Future’s relationship with Blac Chyna, which means Tyga and I have something in common! [TMZ]
- Lark Voorhies might have a sex tape. Are sex tapes art? Is art art? [TMZ]
- Kris Jenner brought Mason, Penelope, and Reign to see their daddy in rehab. [Us Weekly]
- Gwen Stefani gave Gavin Rossdale half her fortune in their divorce, but she’s still a Rich Girl. [Radar Online]
- Drew Barrymore and her husband might be filing for divorce, which is nearly as sad as Miss You Already. [Radar Online]
- Here’s Colin Firth and Renee Zellweger holding Hugh Grant in their arms. Just kidding, it’s a baby. Bridget and Mr. Darcy have a baby. [Daily Mail]
Contact the author at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Images via Instagram.