Have mercy, Lifetime’s much-anticipated (?) The Unauthorized Full House Story is finally here.

Tonight we shall bear witness to the wizardry behind Uncle Jesse’s mullet, the origin story of the most famous twins that have ever twinned and if we’re lucky (?) some reference to the rumor of Dave Coulier being the inspiration for Alanis Morissette’s hit, “You Oughta Know.”

I’m scared!

Contact the author at marie.lodi@jezebel.com.

Image via Scott Schafer/Lifetime.