How lovely it’s been to focus on news unrelated to the 2016 presidential election — a fine respite from that tugging urge to run howling into the sea. But alas, it’s time to say goodbye to the 2016 Summer Olympics. We offer you this space for closing ceremony conviviality, commiseration, and whatever else may be tucked inside your heart.
A few notes:
Keep an eye out for Simone Biles. She will helm the procession of United States athletes and, in so doing, make history as the first female gymnast flag bearer.
Do not keep an eye out for Ryan Lochte, because he’s unlikely to be there. Goodbye Ryan. Get your life right.
The ceremony begins at 7 p.m. EST, but will not air until 8 p.m. EST. Prepare your drinks of choice in the meantime.
GET JEZEBEL RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX
Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.
