Here Is Coldplay's Fake Game of Thrones Musical

Narrated by Liam Neeson, Game of Thrones: The Musical features Kit Harington serenading Rose Leslie with a terrible song called “Wildling” (to the tune of “Wild Thing”), Emilia Clarke recording a track titled “Rastafarian Targaryen,” and “Closer To Home,” a ballad starring Nicolaj Coster-Waldau about loving your sister ( Are you thinking ‘bout Joffrey / such a spirited lad / I was his uncle / I was also his dad).

Listen, I don’t know, it’s Friday, I’m jet lagged, but does anyone else think Chris Martin is kind of…funny? And…sexy? Does the man not age? Is it because he’s only eaten walnut lentil pâté and almond kale smoothies for the past 10 years? What is going on here?!