Here Is a List of Celebrities Who Don't Have Coronavirus (But Were Tested for It!)

Already, more D-list celebrities have been tested for coronavirus than just about every single human being I know or have ever met, despite widespread shortages making it impossible for hospitals to stock enough tests for healthcare workers and the sick. It really makes you think! And, if you think hard enough, you might come to the conclusion that something suspicious is afoot. Well, that’s another blog. You’re reading this blog, which is a list of celebrities who’ve tested negative for coronavirus.

Thanks to the intrepid reporting at Just Jared, I was provided with a gaggle of names attached to people whose health you have probably not considered amid the coronavirus outbreak. Celine Dion, for instance! The heiress to husband René Angélil, and occasional pop star, Dion believed she had coronavirus after “coming down with symptoms similar to a cold.” She then postponed two of her shows on March 9, shortly before getting tested.

Did you know that Spain still has a King and Queen? Well, if you didn’t, you needn’t worry yourself with that newfound knowledge of yours. Queen Letitzia, and incredibly rich royal, tested negative. She’ll be fine! Although, moving forward, I’d contest her position as a “celebrity” to literally any American. Same with Tom Kaulitz, Heidi Klum’s husband, who self-quarantined earlier this week before getting tested. (Didn’t stop him from panic-shopping for groceries while awaiting results, though!) He’s since been cleared, but I wonder: How does Queen Letitzia feel about getting lumped into a list with such a nobody? Probably not great!

And lastly, we have Kris Jenner, who Entertainment Tonight reported had come into contact with UMG CEO Lucian George, who has the virus. Per a source: “Kris wasn’t sick and didn’t have any symptoms, but since she was in contact with someone who tested positive, she took the test. Jenner luckily tested negative for coronavirus.” Again, how was she able to get the test so swiftly, and without symptoms, which goes against CDC recommendations earlier this week for seeking treatment. Well, like I said previously—that’s another blog! You’re reading this one, which is a list. Nothing suspicious about a list!

Still, there is some humor to be had in flipping through photos of the aforementioned stars panic-purchasing cartfuls of supplies at Gelson’s since receiving the test. It humanizes them, and also makes me wonder just how reckless you can be with others’ health when you have money to throw at treatment and testing. [Just Jared]

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Everyone should collectively put fewer microphones in the faces of bottom rung reality television stars. Otherwise, I will keep having to sit through the mind-numbing social commentary of the likes of Vanderpump Rules’ Scheana Shay, who announced on Saturday that she was going to keep hanging out with her friends while under quarantine because she’s “not gonna stop living.”

As expected, her mentions devolved swiftly, with concerned fans and general troll-types pleading with her to follow recommendations and sit her ass at home. Thankfully, this seemed to work. In the process, though, it revealed some troubling—if completely believable—aspects to the way Scheana engages with politics and the world at large.

What sorts of board games do you think she’s forced her stuffed animals into playing with her while quarantined? I’d also imagine that the sunglasses rack, conveniently placed on the counter of her apartment, has provided hours of amusement. I believe in you, Scheana! Together, we will all get through this. [Hollywood Life]

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• Remember Iggy Azalea? [Daily Mail]
• Reese Witherspoon! [People]
• John Krasinski is breaking his minutes-long silence on his marriage. [E News]
• If you like bad things, click on this story about Jared Leto. [Us Weekly]
• Bebe Rexha pleads with Trump to make rent free for all Americans after acquaintance dies from coronavirus. [People]