Henry Cavill Should Always Have a Mustache

Illustration for article titled Henry Cavill Should Always Have a Mustacheem/em
Image: Getty

Like many Americans, I saw Mission: Impossible—Fallout this summer and thoroughly enjoyed it. In fact, I loved it. One of the many things I loved about it: Henry Cavill with a mustache.

Advertisement

Before Fallout, I was a Henry Cavill novice, unfamiliar with his work in the Superman movies and The Tudors. As such, I was unfamiliar with his clean-shaven countenance, and now that I’ve watched him stalk through Parisian streetscapes and jump out of airplanes with more facial hair than I truly thought was possible for men younger than 65, I rebuke the very concept of a Henry Cavill sans a little ‘stache.

I say this because Cavill has been cast in a lead role in Netflix’s forthcoming fantasy series The Witcher, and I hope the producers are listening. Henry Cavill needs a mustache. I understand some will disagree with me. The people who made Justice League: Man of Steel didn’t think Cavill’s Superman should have a mustache, which he sported during reshoots of the DC superhero movie because he was still filming Fallout at the time—and decided to digitally erase it. I say, why? Why not leave it? He looks great with that ‘stache; he looks like he was born with it and that it will stay with him until the end of days. I say, don’t put Cavill onscreen anymore unless he’s accompanied by his most trusty and valuable co-star: that mustache.

Advertisement

Of this, I am sure, but I am cautiously open to other kinds of mustaches for Cavill. (See: my artistic rendering above.) Netflix, are you taking notes? If needed, I will absolutely step in as a consultant on this issue, for a negotiable but very reasonable fee.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

Hard no on ‘staches in general.

Scruff? Absolutely yes. Vandyke? If it works with their face, okay. Lip Growth in any form? Hell to the no, right along with neckbeards and lumberjack beards.

I admit this is 100% personal preference, but I have never found a stache that actually improves my appreciation of anyone’s face. Henry looks far better sans ‘stache.