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Helpful Website Tells You If Someone Is Jerking Off To You

A few years ago, a friendly acquaintance came up to me at a fairly lively party and asked me if I remembered attending another event, years before. I told him I did; he said he remembered it too, and also the tank top I wore, because he'd been jerking off to the memory.

There is nothing wrong with a fantasy. The creepy, potentially violating part is letting someone else into it without their prior consent or interest. And the same thing that I found repellent that night seems to be the entire premise of Thank Your Wank, a site in which you thank the person you fantasized to while masturbating, although we suspect they would say it's all a big joke and we lack a sense of humor.

The problem is that not only do wankees, shall we say, not opt in to the system, but that all Facebook profiles appear to be culled for it. A tipster writes that she Googled her name yesterday in preparation for a job application:

"On search listing three was the thankyourwank site! I click on it, and there is my facebook profile on full view (i guess the site links to facebook), indicating that people have wanked to me. What's scary is I have never ever signed up with this site.

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This may have to do with privacy settings; when I searched my name, my work-related Like page, but not personal, more-restricted profile, came up. The site doesn't have much to say about itself besides the above video (TV and movie representations of masturbation interspersed with Reddit comments), and this lean FAQ:

Find out how many people WANKED TO YOU
Thank those you wanked to by clicking +1 on their profile
Get INSTANT ALERTS for mutual wanks
Create a list of your favorite wanks (may also be used as a TO-"DO" list)
See the MOST WANKED TO people on earth!

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On the plus side, it's anonymous unless you +1 someone who also wanked to you.

Thank Your Wank [Official Site]

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DISCUSSION

seoulsister
Seoul Sister

This is actually something that happened to me. I had a friend of a friend on Facebook, back when I was more naive about my settings, who started posting really off-putting comments about my tits on a few pictures. So I removed him, and he later communicated, wondering why I'd removed him. When I explained, he never responded again. But this eventually spun out into a couple of other things that just made it all the worse.

I later found out, through my friend who had been friends with that guy, that I had some mostly incredibly benign pictures of myself wearing shorter shorts and stuff out there on a couple of websites for like, obviously voyeuristic softcore or clothed stuff or 'hot pictures' of women with their clothes on and such. It was really worrisome how many of the other pictures were just women sitting obviously in like, a classroom, or posing for a picture with a friend.

I even found a site where I was a allegedly a "young girl from Korea, looking for American men like YOU!', and they had a fake name next to the pictures and supposed messages from 'that girl.' Which just somehow made the whole thing even more violating.

And it just felt... incredibly violating and uncomfortable, but taught me a lot about handling my "internet hygiene" better.

I guess it shouldn't bother me so much since it wasn't really like people were particularly attracted to me, in terms of my identity. Just some pictures.

Still, it does leave that really uncomfortable feeling of worry when you see a person sitting near you on the bus fiddling with their camera at an awkward angle ("did he just take a picture of me?") or when a friend takes a picture of you ("what is he gonna do with it?").

I don't know, it's all murky and just awkward and kind of upsetting.