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Hell Screams As Marilyn Manson Proclaims Desire to Bone Madonna

Illustration for article titled Hell Screams As Marilyn Manson Proclaims Desire to Bone Madonna

Apologies for the emergency water flushing we will all need for our minds’ eyes after this, but Marilyn Manson, who was once nicknamed “Shit Eye” by Hunter S. Thompson, recently revealed his dream humping partner to be none other than Madonna. That’s good news for Drake. Manson will gladly take your place the next time Madonna wants to surprise you with a deep-tonguing.

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In a recent interview with i-D Magazine, Manson said he wanted to “fornicate” with the 56-year-old singer. These are his exact words:

“She looks hotter than ever. I’d also like to let it be known that I still have a crush on Madonna and I would definitely fornicate with her.”

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Honestly, it sort of makes sense. These two have both been known for controversy throughout their careers. They could trade stories about Courtney Love over a bottle of Mansinthe. I would like to see a Manson and Madonna courtship played out for all of us to see. Actually, it’s the perfect time for a reboot of Strange Love, VH1’s reality show which documented the unlikely romance between Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen. Imagine all the hijinks these two could get into. Exes like Rose McGowan and Vanilla Ice could show up to stir trouble. What would their celebrity couple nickname be? Mad-Man? Sorry everyone, I could go on.

Unfortunately, Madonna’s response wasn’t as enthusiastic. According to US Weekly, the Rebel Heart singer posted a picture of Manson and his quote on her Instagram with a very un-horny “Um………thanks!” caption.

Illustration for article titled Hell Screams As Marilyn Manson Proclaims Desire to Bone Madonna

Listen, we don’t know what goes on behind closed DMs. Perhaps Madonna is planning to smear foundation with Manson as we speak.

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Image via Getty and Instagram.


Contact the author at marie.lodi@jezebel.com.

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DISCUSSION

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There was an interview with him in Rolling Stone a few months ago (maybe longer, I’m bad at time) where he said that he “requires sexual congress” no less than 5 times per day, but up to 10.

What was even more off-putting than that disgusting thought is that the interview implies that his live-in girlfriend is skulking around and being a real bitch. She both has a job AND fucks Marilyn Manson 50 times a week so my guess is that she was probably pretty fucking tired.