Vh1's reality offering Famous Food made its debut last night, and with a cast consisting of Eliot Spitzer's ex-call girl, the more voluptuous half of Speidi, RHONJ's "prostitution whore," The Sopranos' "Big Pussy," a former Bachelor, and the Three 6 Mafia, it was clear even before the first frame that this show would hit some sort of reality television nadir. And I love reality television nadirs, seriously. So I watched.

The premise of the new series goes as follows: each of the "famous" will battle it out in a series of...eh, nevermind, the premise doesn't matter. This show is about inter-celebrity relationships, the mysteries of human interaction — particularly that of Heidi Montag and Danielle Staub, who make for a plastic pair of BFFs.