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Heidi Montag And Danielle Staub Get All Mean Girls Towards Ashley Dupree

Vh1's reality offering Famous Food made its debut last night, and with a cast consisting of Eliot Spitzer's ex-call girl, the more voluptuous half of Speidi, RHONJ's "prostitution whore," The Sopranos' "Big Pussy," a former Bachelor, and the Three 6 Mafia, it was clear even before the first frame that this show would hit some sort of reality television nadir. And I love reality television nadirs, seriously. So I watched.


The premise of the new series goes as follows: each of the "famous" will battle it out in a series, nevermind, the premise doesn't matter. This show is about inter-celebrity relationships, the mysteries of human interaction — particularly that of Heidi Montag and Danielle Staub, who make for a plastic pair of BFFs.

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Professor Pink

Bowie disapproves.

Unfortunately in future shows (once Heidi gets creeped out by Danielle, because we all know that's a "when" not "if") Heidi will not have the wit and intelligence for quips like, "I don't know if she wants to be me, or skin me and wear me like last year's Versace!"

I miss Dina. :(