Hedge Fund Guy Says Rich People are President's "Battered Wives"

Hedge fund manager Dan Loeb, who ~~earns~~ makes several hundred million dollars a year, wrote an email to his pals addressing them as “Friends/battered wives” and comparing President Barack Obama to an abusive husband. Because “rape victims” seemed too strong?

After encouraging recipients of his email to buy the dating/relationships book He’s Just Not That Into You—ostensibly to show just how “with it” he is, in a mid-aughts way—Loeb, a former Obama supporter, launches into his weird and offensive comparison:

I am sure, if we are really nice and stay quiet, everything will be alright and the President will become more centrist and that all his tough talk is just words; I mean he really loves us and when he beats us, he doesn’t mean it; he just gets a little angry….i mean when I am alone with him -at $30,000 a plate fund raisers-he’s really nice and once I got invited to the White House! It was so cool, because I could tell all my friends…and when he gives speeches, I mean i get to sit in the front row and my friends see me on TV…..and he usually doesn’t hit me in the face to it doesn’t show except for that one time…he’s not that bad really, unless he gets drunk (from power) and…..well, he really does love me or he wouldn’t invite me to all those $30,000 a plate fund raisers and ask my opinion all the time, right?

Maybe he was just trying to outdo Khloe Kardashian in this week’s poor word-choice contest. Pretty sure he won.

Oh, but some lady-people think his letter was funny! Courtney Comstock of Business Insider described it as “hilarious” (she must not hear too many jokes), and Bess Levin of Dealbreaker highlights Loeb’s reference to He’s Not…. So Loeb’s remark can’t be that bad, right?

Actually, it can. How anyone can compare annoyance over taxes to a situation that typically involves fearing for one’s life is beyond me. No matter how much Loeb’s tax rate increases, he’ll still have plenty of flexibility and options to do what he wants. The domestic violence sufferers I’ve known didn’t share that reality. Also, it’s pretty inconsistent to say Obama’s your disinterested love interest and your abuser in the same paragraph. But maybe I’m just being nitpicky here and overlooking the important fact that America’s nine-figure income earners are suffering!

Dan Loeb Has Some Advice For Anyone Feeling Used And Abused By Barack Obama [Dealbreaker]
Dan Loeb: Obama Beats Me Because He Loves Me [Business Insider]