'He Looks Like a Dick': Enjoy These Quotes From Shkreli Trial Rejected Jurors 

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Pharma-twerp Martin Shkreli currently awaits sentencing after being convicted of securities fraud and conspiracy on August 4. To reminisce a bit on his trial, Harper’s Magazine published an entertaining transcript of the three-day jury selection proceedings from June.

During the process, over 200 prospective jurors were reportedly dismissed, and many of them expressed disgust with Shkreli in the form of beautifully snide remarks. One potential juror described him as the “most hated man in America.” Another said he “kind of looks like a dick.”

Shkreli is, of course best known as a carnivorous pharma CEO who jacked Daraprim costs by 5,000 percent and supported the EpiPen 400-percent price increase—and for purchasing an expensive Wu-Tang Clan album.

There are hundreds of reasons to hate him, but here are just a few, as explained by jurors excused in the selection process. (Benjamin Brafman is Shkreli’s lawyer.)

Juror No. 1: I’m aware of the defendant and I hate him.
Benjamin Brafman: I’m sorry.
Juror No. 1: I think he’s a greedy little man.
The Court: Jurors are obligated to decide the case based only on the evidence. Do you agree?
Juror No. 1: I don’t know if I could. I wouldn’t want me on this jury.
The Court: Juror Number 1 is excused. Juror Number 18.

He’s ruined people’s lives:

Juror No. 18: Both of my parents are on prescriptions that have gone up over the past few months, so much that they can’t afford their drugs. I have several friends who have H.I.V. or AIDS who, again, can’t afford the prescription drugs that they were able to afford.
Juror No. 40: I’m taking prescription medication. I would be upset if it went up by a thousand percent. I saw the testimony on TV to Congress and I saw his face on the news last night. By the time I came in and sat down and he turned around, I felt immediately I was biased.

He is a snake:

Juror No. 52: When I walked in here today I looked at him, and in my head, that’s a snake — not knowing who he was. I just walked in and looked right at him and that’s a snake.

He is extremely despicable:

Juror No. 70: I have total disdain for the man. When you go back to how he was able to put so many children —
The Court: You have negative feelings?
Juror No. 70: Very.

He is greedy:

Juror No. 77: From everything I’ve seen on the news, everything I’ve read, I believe the defendant is the face of corporate greed in America.

He’s guilty of something, perhaps everything:

Juror No. 155: I have read a lot of articles about the case. I think he is as guilty as they come.
Juror No. 59: Your Honor, totally he is guilty and in no way can I let him slide out of anything because —
Juror No. 125: I’ve read extensively about Martin’s shameful past and his ripping off sick people and it hits close to me. I have a mother with epilepsy, a grandmother with Alzheimer’s, and a brother with multiple sclerosis. I think somebody that’s dealt in those things deserves to go to jail.
The Court: Just to be clear, he’s not being charged with anything relating to the pricing of pharmaceuticals.
Juror No. 125: I understand that, but I already sense the man is guilty.

He looks like a dick and is some combination of stupid and greedy:

Juror No. 144: I don’t think I can because he kind of looks like a dick.
Juror No. 28: I don’t like this person at all. I just can’t understand why he would be so stupid as to take an antibiotic which H.I.V. people need and jack it up five thousand percent. I would honestly, like, seriously like to go over there —
The Court: Sir, thank you.
Juror No. 28: Is he stupid or greedy? I can’t understand.

He disrespected the Wu:

Juror No. 59: Your Honor, totally he is guilty and in no way can I let him slide out of anything because —
The Court: Okay. Is that your attitude toward anyone charged with a crime who has not been proven guilty?
Juror No. 59: It’s my attitude toward his entire demeanor, what he has done to people.
The Court: All right. We are going to excuse you, sir.
Juror No. 59: And he disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan.

Thank you, jurors, for your services. Should you need a further reminder, here’s what CNN reported following Shkreli’s conviction:

When the first guilty verdict was delivered, Shkreli looked to his right with a surprised smirk. Outside, he called his prosecution “a witch hunt of epic proportions,” and he focused on the acquittals. “Maybe they found one or two broomsticks,” he said.

Correction: An earlier version of this post incorrectly stated that Shkreli jacked the Epi-Pen price. The post has been updated.

 
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