Jessica Simpson’s got legs, and she knows how to use them! Damn, right? Just look at those stems! They’re juttin’ out of her hips like two hinged K’Nex constructions sold in boxes labeled “JESSICA SIMPSON’S SEXY LEGS, AGES 18 AND UP” that have been matched to the color of her skin. She can bend them! She can keep them straight! She can drape them in clothes and accessorize them with shoes! Yes, Jessica Simpson can do anything she want with her legs, because they are hers to flaunt, and ours to admire.