Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Has Chris Cuomo Always Been Hot?

Illustration for article titled Has Chris Cuomo Always Been Hot?
Screenshot: Instagram

I gave up on CNN anchors a long time ago. They’re always yelling, there are too many of them talking at once, and the 65 different graphics on the screen are overwhelming. So it’s no surprise that I missed out on a true diamond in the rough sitting behind a CNN desk this entire time: Chris Cuomo. But is Chris Cuomo actually hot or do I just think it’s cute that he had an argument with his brother on national television?

Advertisement

Chris Cuomo, at 49, has the basic building blocks of a good-looking older person—good teeth, nice eyes, the beginning stages of graying hair, and he can pull off a suit. His voice has that low timbre of a man who spent his 20s on a diet of cheap whiskey and cigarettes. There’s also that accent that tells everyone he was born in New York, he’s just courteous enough to smooth it out a bit. He’s even got two rescue dogs, which is at least worth 2 million bonus points on the hotness scale. What really sealed the deal on his hotness, for me, is a video of Chris wearing a t-shirt and cargo shorts talking about I’m-not-sure-what, and gesticulating with his beautiful hands and muscular arms.

Advertisement

Chris Cuomo is fucking jacked. Being jacked isn’t a necessity for me when measuring hotness, but it doesn’t hurt. Perhaps I was distracted by his other successful siblings: Maria the film producer, Margaret the radiologist, and Andrew the governor. But I can’t believe I wasted so much of my time thinking that Chris Cuomo was not-hot. Chris is my favorite Cuomo son.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

itsnotaboutthepasta
itsnotaboutthepasta

When you sit the two brothers next to each other, it’s undeniable that Chris is the hotter Cuomo son. But put Chris next to, like, someone from the Hot Chris Pantheon (Pine, Evans, Hemsworth, Messina, etc.) and the game clearly changes.