Happy Friday, From the Condom Dangling From a Pole on the F Train

By Jia Tolentino | October 10, 2014 | 7:30pm

WEEEEEE!!! DANG!!! U SEE ME? Yeah, baby, just hanging out! Life’s a wild ride, isn’t it? Dang. How long you been in the city?? Me, just a couple days. Couple days and a couple nights! Got in Tuesday, to be exact. JUST BEEN HANGIN RIGHT HERE EVER SINCE! Just hangin out on the F train, man!!! Where you going? WEEEE THAT GUST OF WIND FEELS FANTASTIC. All right, fine, new friends! NEW FRIENDS IN HERE, WOO! Ooooh-WEE that hair smells nice, can I get in there for a second? Ooh, so fuzzy! Reminds me of something, but I can’t quite—oh god, BLURRGHHH, you know when you get that FEELING, like there’s something BAD you’re forgetting about, something inside you sort of feels all spoiled and sick—AHH, HERE’S THE WIND AGAIN WEEE! Life, baby, life!!! Where you going with that gorgeous head of hair? Hey buddy, your backpack’s open. Lemme just pop in there for a sec—ohh ohhh no come back! Leavin so SOON, amigo???? WHERE’S EVERYONE GOING?

Dang, everyone always leaves.