One week ago, on the Kentucky Oaks infield, a large, pastel-hued fight broke out among several individuals wearing monogrammed belts. Let’s celebrate their passion.


The video shows a young man in bright green shorts briefly fending off two attackers in button-downs, as a third individual rocking baby blue khakis drove through the trio to pound in the face of a man in a bow tie and boat shoes, whose blazer at this point has been ripped almost entirely in half. The man in the blue khakis swings, completely misses, and falls, at which point the gentleman in the bow tie, sensing his moment, kicks him in the throat and then also falls. A large crowd encircles our fighters, and they, too, are dressed like a community of poisonous tree frogs.


Anyway, if one of these men is your boyfriend, please email me.

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.

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