Hailey and Justin Bieber Are Learning That Wedding Planning Is a Pain in the Ass

Hailey Baldwin Bieber and Justin Bieber leaving Milk Studios on January 19, 2019.
Hailey Baldwin Bieber and Justin Bieber leaving Milk Studios on January 19, 2019.
Image: Backgrid USA

When Hailey Baldwin Bieber and Justin Bieber announced that they will be having an official wedding to supplement their surprise courthouse marriage in October, visions of fancy Vogue slideshows danced in our heads. Of course it will be luxe and over-the-top and probably a lot absurd; my biggest question is whether Justin shave his dirtbag scruff or leave it and wear an Off-White hoodie under his tux jacket.


Unfortunately, the proles will be deprived of this for just a little bit longer, because the happy couple is dealing with the same type of logistical bullshit that accompanies planning a wedding, or any large-scale event. The latest development: they sent out 300 “Save the Date” postcards (charmingly retro!) but then revoked them (fittingly on-trend!) because several key people could not make it on the date. One problem here is that the date was over Justin’s birthday weekend in early March—any wedding planner worth their salt knows that two months is not enough time for attendees to make arrangements to attend a ceremony, especially when many of those attendees are rich and famous (including Kylie Jenner, Travis Scott, Chris Brown, Drake, and Odell Beckham Jr.) and fill up their planners a year in advance. I mean, what a headache! TMZ:

Our sources say the wedding will not be anytime soon ... they want to properly plan it this time with plenty of warning for guests. We’re told they’re now thinking they may want to do a destination wedding, knowing that would pare down the guest list considerably.

As a commoner who is over 35, the dirtiest words you can utter to me are “destination wedding.” Unless your ass is paying! Justin and Hailey, get it together!


Speaking of marriage and Kylie and Travis, she might have just confirmed they’re married (or trolled us all), and also Kylie appears to be learning Spanish, lord help us.


  • Amber Rose’s new boyf is a Def Jam VP of A&R—so basically, she’s leveled up to the sort-of boss of the rappers she’s been dating. [Page Six]
  • Anna Wintour loves that Meghan Markle sends texts before sunrise. She would! [Celebitchy]
  • Michael Gandolfini, son of the dearly departed James, has been cast as Young Tony Soprano in the Sopranos prequel, and I’m going to cry now. [People]


JujyMonkey: unstable genius

Go to Las Vegas

We did. We invited three couples who are some of our best fiends and we went to town hall to get our marriage certificate, then had our ceremony at Cupid’s Chapel and my wife was walked down the aisle by an Elvis impersonator. We had Pentecostal minister deliver an absolutely beautiful speech and ceremony; he later told us that 30 years before he was a pimp prior to finding god. We had our celebratory dinner at Golden Steer which was a Rat Pack favorite.

Not that difficult, kid.