Image: Getty

The gossiping hour is upon us, and I’m really struggling to conjure up some interest in this Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk wedding news. Possibly because this is the same Gwyneth Paltrow who made the announcement on the cover of Gwyneth Paltrow’s magazine of vaginal/anal/magical product recommendations from Gwyneth Paltrow culled from the wisdom of living as Gwyneth Paltrow who will quite possibly mine this happy happy union to get me to buy potions to ward off bad vibes demons.

But I will try! Here is everything we know:

  • She got married [People]
  • In the Hamptons [People]
  • To this person [Harper’s Bazaar]
  • Cameron Diaz was “very excited” [People]
  • Also other celebrities [People]
  • She discussed baby plans with Howard Stern (none so far) [People]
  • She wore a wedding dress [People]
  • I think she’s calling it a wedding? [People]
  • Falchuk drove [People]
  • Jerry Seinfeld hosted the rehearsal dinner [Page Six]
  • Chris Martin was not there [People]
  • Because he had a thing at the Global Citizen Fest and calmed down a crowd which panicked in fear of a shooting after a barrier collapsed [Update: Further details reflect that Martin took the stage to assure thousands running for the exits–in a scene actor Elizabeth Chambers described as a “stampede” and the “scariest moment of my life”–that “you’re all safe,” and “there’s no need to push people out of the way,” which was apparently very effective.] [Daily Mail]
  • Chris Martin is now dating Dakota Johnson [Daily Mail]
  • Inside scoop on tables, flowers, etc [E! Online]

SNL invited Kanye over, and this happened:

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People has the full rant (which started after NBC cut the cameras in the post-show hugging session), but it more or less boils down to letting us know that Kanye will NOT be silenced, and Trump is NOT a racist.

Chris Rock’s Instagram story kinda captures the temperature of the room.

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I feel you, Rachel Dratch:

[People]


  • What’s the Queen wearing at the moment, you ask? [Daily Mail]
  • Samuel L. Jackson I believe is suggesting that maybe we can hold it with the meme-ing of Brett Kavanaugh hearings, re: the viral Pulp Fiction one that’s been making the rounds. “Funny as hell, but there’s nothing funny about his Lying Fratboy Ass!!!” he tweets. [NME]
  • Real Housewives of Beverly Hills swimwear-related lawsuit content! [TMZ]
  • Barack Obama, Cher wants a phone call. [Page Six]