Glee: Santana's Secret Is Out

While last week's episode of Glee sparked protests from parents groups, thankfully tonight's episode featured more wholesome plotlines. Now that we've moved past two gay high school seniors talking about losing their virginity, the show went back to a non-scandalous topic: student/teacher sex. The episode opens with Puck defending his love for Shelby in a voice over, saying:

Don't judge me, I'm 18. Besides, the age difference isn't that crazy. Just look at Ashton and Demi, Indiana Jones and Ally McBeal, Woody Allen and that Chinese girl. I get that teacher-student relationships are tricky, but aren't all realationships? I'm willing to put in the work for this one. When she looks at me, I don't feel like a boy anymore. I feel like the man that I've always wanted to be. A family man.


This segues into a fantasy performance of "Hot For Teacher," with several close-ups on Shelby's ass. When the boys finish the song at a glee club rehearsal, Rachel notes that it's inappropriate, because the writers seem to think that if they make some meta reference to the show's flaws that gives them license to do whatever they want.

This plot line is particularly irritating because it actually works aside from the student/teacher element. Puck and Shelby's relationship was well-developed, and it seems like we're seeing him mature into man who could be a good father. However, noting that Puck is 18 doesn't excuse the fact that Shelby is his teacher. Shelby mulling over a relationship with Puck is flat-out wrong. While Mr. Schue instantly squashed Rachel's one-episode crush on him, the writers think it's okay to portray this relationship as romantic because the student is a guy. Yet for some reason, the Parents Television Council has yet to make any angry declarations about Glee sending kids the message that sometimes having a relationship with your teacher can be sexy.

Anyway, as Puck and Shelby continue their inappropriate bonding sessions, he informs her of Quinn's plot to make CPS take Beth away. Shelby reacts like Puck told her that Quinn might have cheated on a test, but later when Quinn stops by uninvited, she finally loses it. She tells Quinn she can't see Beth anymore and explains that CPS isn't in the habit of placing babies back with their unemployed teenage mothers. Quinn responds in her typically awful manner, saying that Shelby gave Rachel up for money and, "at least I did what I thought was best for my baby. You were just a cash whore." (Kudos to Quinn and the Glee writers for showing us how heinous birth mothers can be!)

Incredibly, Quinn doesn't get the award for most awful comment of the night. Despite Shelby and Schue's attempt to turn the rivalry between New Directions and the Troubletones into a friendly competition with a "Mash-Off," things get ugly, particularly between Finn and Santana. The two teams play a vicious game of dodge ball as they perform a fun "Hit Me With Your Best Shot"/"One Way Or Another" mash-up. At the end, the Troubletones pelt Rory with balls until his nose bleeds, causing Kurt to later announce that he's running for class president on a "no dodge ball" platform because the game is "an equivalent to modern day stoning."

In more important Kurt news, this happened tonight:

Illustration for article titled Glee: Santana's Secret Is Out

Santana promises to make peace with Finn, but her apology consists of string of fat jokes that's cruel even for Santana. Finn finally figures out the one insult that can crush her, and makes a loud speech in the hallway about how Santana's lashing out because she's keeping her lesbianism a secret. Santana was totally out of line, but you'd think the guy with a gay brother would know better than to out someone.

Finally, Becky summons Santana into Sue's office where Burt and Mr. Schue are waiting for her. Sue's been campaigning dirty in her Congressional race, and a McKinley student told her opponent what Finn said to Santana. His new ads feature photos of Santana and ask why Sue promoted a lesbian student to head cheerleader. Santana cries and runs out of the room, yelling "I can't believe this is happening. I haven't even told my parents yet." Immediately she's on stage with the Troubletones doing an incredible Adele mash-up. At the end she sees Finn whispering to Rachel and flips out, screaming, "everyone's gonna know now, because of you." Finn defends himself for deciding to out her, saying everyone knows and they don't care, and Santana socks him in the face. I'm generally against the idea that it's okay for girls to smack guys, but when someone's justifying their decision to out you, it's at least understandable.



Loved last night's episode, felt like the best one in awhile. Thoughts:

1. Did anyone catch when, after Rachel questioned whether Puck's song was appropriate, Will said "well, it depends on what Puck's intent was!" You've got to be shitting me. Have RIB+ ever heard the phrase "intent is irrelevant"?

2. The dodgeball game was awesome (sans bleeding). ND had the entire damn football team and the TroubleTones still smoked them. Win.

3. Thought it was funny how the show was clearly trying to temper the insane Mercedes-hate from the fandom by making her the sensible one and having her sing the greatest mashup to ever be mashed.

4. Good for Rachel, doing a good deed with only a teeny bit of condescension! Not even joking, I like her when she's not a monster.

5. On Santana: I used to not like her because of her cruelty but I realized it's because her meanness is so unimaginative. She comes off as cruel because the writers need to write her better, sharper insults. Throughout her entire diatribe against Finn I was waiting for it to be something other than "you fatty." The writers need to model her as more of a Blair Waldorf-type alpha bitch. Blair's quips are awesome and not in a bodysnarking way, but more in a "read you for filth" kinda way. Just lazy writing (surprise, surprise).