Listen, you know her. We all do. Perhaps you are her, or were, in some past moment of personal upheaval. She’s the friend who is on a “personal journey.” The friend who is considering quitting her job and going wwoofing in New Zealand for three months to rediscover nature and her own inner strength. The serial monogamist who doesn’t know who she is. The lonely agnostic who is starting to be like, you know what? A little spirituality might be nice! The friend who sobbed while watching Dakota Johnson’s breathtaking performance in How To Be Single. The friend who wants love, but also, what is that, really? And is she ready for it? And should she potentially start looking into sound therapy?

This person would probably appreciate a thoughtful gift to kickstart her groundbreaking moment of self-discovery. Here are some ideas.

A Rupaul poster

In my very smart opinion, everyone should have a Rupaul poster in their room for inspiration and imaginary harsh but fair advice. Can I get an amen?

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WASING 55L Internal Frame Backpack

Screenshot via How to Be Single.

Sure, so not everybody likes to hike or whatever, but if you are on a self-actualization journey you simply must pick up some kind of life-changing hobby, and this one seems nice.

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Mona 2 Vibrator by Lelo

Image via Babeland.

Frickin duh! Who wouldn’t want a big fat fancy vibrator? This Mona 2 design by Lelo is elegant and versatile, which is important when you’re buying a gift for someone else’s body.

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Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach, PhD

Screenshot via Amazon.

For your friend who is like, “Hm, Buddhism sounds interesting!” and also “I don’t like myself very much!”, a smart self-help book like Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance is a good place to start.

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The Complete Knife Throwing Guide by Gil Hibben

Again—everybody needs a hobby! This knife-throwing guide and beginner’s knife set is “the holy grail of knife throwing books,” of which there are apparently many. Who doesn’t want to throw a knife, you know? Is that just me?

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Leuchtturm Medium Hardcover notebook

Image via Amazon.

Gotta have a place to write down all of your very deep and important thoughts! This Leuchtturm1917 hardcover is a really good one.

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D.S. & Durga Spirit Lamp candle

Image via Barneys/D.S. & Durga.

You don’t have to be on any kind of personal journey to enjoy a bougie, extraordinarily-priced candle, but some type of good-smelling open flame situation is certainly a plus for anyone looking to enjoy their alone time. This one, according to D.S. & Durga, is meant to evoke the “tea service” of a “topless psychic.” So... if you get this, definitely tell me what it smells like because I have no idea.

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Aromatherapy Associates bath oil

Screenshot via

In the same vein, here is an extremely expensive bath oil that has received very high marks. Honestly, this is just something that I personally want.

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A pothos plant

Image via The Sill.

It’s nice to have something to take care of, even if it’s just a plant who never responds when you tell it about your day. Also, it improves your air quality.

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About the author

Ellie Shechet

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.