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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

'Get Well' Messages From Other Democratic Candidates to Bernie Sanders, Ranked

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Bernie Sanders is recovering after experiencing chest discomfort and having two stents placed to treat an artery blockage. According to the Sanders camp, the Vermont senator is in good spirits and “feels better than ever.” He may also be buoyed by the influx of well wishes he’s received from supporters, colleagues, and his 2020 Democratic rivals, who tweeted words of encouragement.

Many politicians and celebrities want Sanders to get better, but how exactly are they letting us know that they want him to get better? Here are some high profile well wishes—in no particular order—ranked:

Elizabeth Warren: 10/10

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Sincere, authentic, and hits all the right notes. Referring to Sanders as her “friend” is a nice touch, and she’s one of the few who could say it without eliciting an eye roll. I believe her!

Kamala Harris: 8/10

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Like Warren, Harris mentioned that she’s looking forward to seeing him on the campaign trail again, which is a kind sentiment! The “fighter” analogy is a little cliche, but she uses it better than her fellow 2020 contenders.

Joe Biden: 7/10

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Nice to mention Sanders’ wife, very few did. But is he trying to outdo everyone with the longest tweet? Hmmm.

Andrew Yang: 5/10

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This isn’t a knock on Yang’s sincerity, which obviously cannot be fully deciphered via tweet anyway (this post is just good clean fun, folks), but the “Oh no” is so lackluster! The praying hands and American flag emoji don’t make up for it. Come on, man!

Marianne Williamson: 6.5/10

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The “we love you” is very sweet, but from Marianne Williamson I’d expect something a little more mystic. Like, you’d think she would encourage us all to be useful and manifest Sanders an entirely new artery or something. Try harder, Williamson.

Tom Steyer: 4/10

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No flavor. Is Tom holding a grudge because Bernie thinks his level of wealth shouldn’t exist? Impossible to know for sure so to be safe let’s just say “yes.”

Tulsi Gabbard: 6/10

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The message is actually very sweet and the “aloha” is a nice touch, but she started off the tweet with @BernieSanders without a period in front of it, so unless you happen to follow both Gabbard and Sanders on Twitter or dig through the replies tab of Gabbard’s Twitter profile, you’re not going to see this tweet! The tweet was not as public as Gabbard likely intended, so points off for poor execution.

Julian Castro: 7/10

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This is fine? Doesn’t assume intimacy since they maybe aren’t close, but is still warm. A fine line to walk!

Beto O’Rourke: 7/10

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Laying it on thick, but you can tell he means it.

John Delaney: 6/10

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Laying it on a little thick here as well but aight. Points again for not pretending to be friends with Bernie, because we know that they are not friends because Delaney kind of sucks.

Amy Klobuchar: 6/10

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Aside from using “fighting spirit” just as Delaney did in a tweet that was posted almost 20 minutes prior, the only really egregious thing about this tweet is arguably the two spaces after the period. Otherwise, a fine sentiment.

Cory Booker - 6/10

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Short and sweet, but are they really cool like that? Like, I’m sure they’re friendly, but are they pals? Homies? Amigos?

Pete Buttigieg: 7/10

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That’s nice, but bland and unlikely to stir you. Like Pete!

Tim Ryan: 5.5/10

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Interesting use of “friend” here considering the fact that Tim Ryan was selling campaign merch about Bernie Sanders yelling so much. But okay!

Ted Cruz: 0/10

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Cursed. Stay away, Ted!

Lindsay Graham: 0/10

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Cursed and unoriginal. Get away!!!

John Cusak, actor: 9/10

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Weird but weird enough to work.

Sarah Silverman: 5/10

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Mostly corny but honestly I cannot believe she resurrected the goddamn Bernie Bird of the 2016 campaign for this tweet!

Bernie himself also weighed in about his well wishes, but did not pick a favorite:

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Where’s Cardi!