Genius Alabama Rep. Says a Baby is the 'Largest Organ in a Body'

Illustration for article titled Genius Alabama Rep. Says a Baby is the 'Largest Organ in a Body'

The Alabama House of Representatives is set to vote on abortion legislation Tuesday that would impose a variety of uneccesary restrictions on abortion clinics: providers would need to have admitting privileges at local hospitals (not such an easy feat when your local hospital thinks abortion is murder), clinics would have to follow needlessly prohibitive building codes, and nurses, nurse practitioners and physician's assistants would be charged with a felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison for dispensing abortion-inducing medications to patients.


Most of those are the good ol' TRAP (Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers) standbys we're familiar with; Mississipi might lose its only abortion clinic because of similar legislation. But bill sponsor Rep. Mary Sue McClurkin came up with a creative defense for her legislation that we don't think we've heard before. From the Montgomery Advertiser:

"When a physician removes a child from a woman, that is the largest organ in a body," McClurkin said in an interview Thursday. "That's a big thing. That's a big surgery. You don't have any other organs in your body that are bigger than that."

My liver, heart, and skin are all very excited that we are now giving organs personhood rights, although the latter is slightly upset about losing out on its "largest organ in the human body" rep.

Rep. Patricia Todd, D-Birmingham, who opposes the legislation because she is a smart lady, said she expects the bill, which is a mixture of old and new restrictions, to pass.

"They're drafting a bill on a subject they have no knowledge of," she said. "They've never been in a clinic. They don't know what the regulations are." (They also need to hop on the Magic School Bus for a refresher in how the human body operates!)

Passage doesn't mean success, but it does mean lawsuits; that's what's happening in Mississippi right now. "I don't think the state of Alabama should waste funds passing a law that will enjoined in court," said Nikema Williams, vice president of public policy for Planned Parenthood Southeast. "Women would not stop seeking abortions," she added. "We would lack legitimate regulated abortion centers to provide health care to women."


McClurkin's pancreas did not respond to requests for comment.

[Montgomery Advertiser]



My sister's baby organ became enlarged once. It got so big that one day it literally burst out of her. Then it went on living OUTSIDE HER BODY. That was years ago, and it's still crawling around her house. It's like something out of a David Lynch movie.