Gaga, Control Your Rooster

Photo via Getty
Photo via Getty

Cock-a-doodle-doo! Did that annoy you? If so, you are like at least one of Lady Gaga’s alleged neighbors who is complaining about the pop star’s pet rooster in a fun, dumb, and short Life & Style item titled, “Lady Gaga’s Neighbors Have a Million Reasons to Complain About Her Farm Animals! (EXCLUSIVE).”

Firstly, that headline is not even true. The anonymous neighbor in Malibu has one reason to complain about Gaga’s farm animals: A rooster that won’t shut up. In fact, the neighbor explicitly states, “We don’t mind watching that beautiful white horse of hers walking around the yard,” because I guess Gaga has a beautiful white horse whose existence is not completely inconveniencing the looky loo peeking through her shades at a property that does not belong to her.

Said looky loo, though, gives some good quotes, hence the entire point of aggregating this inanity:

“Gaga’s roosters have been waking us up at the crack of dawn,” one complains. “We have a newborn baby, and he can’t get any sleep because that rooster is squawking away.”

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Hm, that’s tough but what can you do? Sounds like a pretty conventional rooster to me. Roosters are gonna do some cock-ish shit and Gaga’s gonna do some Gaga-ish shit like owning a rooster.

And then:

“Who has chickens and roosters? She doesn’t live on a farm. This is a multimillion-dollar residential beach neighborhood in Malibu.”

Whatever, she’s unconventional.

Some Pig. Terrific. Radiant. Humble.

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DISCUSSION

Backyard chickens are fine, whatever. But I don’t know why you’d want backyard roosters at all. They’ll interfere with your egg production (unless you like eating fertilized eggs, I guess) and they’re generally really aggressive and territorial.

It’s no weirder than having peacocks as pets, I supposes, but then why not go all in on the noisy, mean birdfriends and get peacocks?