French And German Presidents Say 'Non' And 'Nein' To Sochi Olympics

Next year, the world’s fanciest spandex and the statesmen who they may or may not have voted for will gather in Sochi, Russia to compete in and watch the 2014 Winter Olympic Games. But leaders of two historical Winter Olympian powerhouses won’t be there — and they haven’t specified why. Any chance it rhymes with “shmophobia?”

According to the BBC, both French President Francois Hollande and German President Joachim Gauck will be staying far, far away from the Olympic village (In fact, no top French officials will be in Sochi.) Neither leader has given reasons for the No Dice, but it would be cool if they were doing it because of the host country’s overall shitheadedness when it comes to accepting gays.

I’m sure either leader can catch up on Olympian goings-on in their respective countries, anyway. Prediction: a freckled girl named Brindle whose parents could afford lift tickets and kid-sized snowboarding gear when she was in first grade will win the snowboarding competition.