Forty-Three Socks Found in Stomach of Clueless Great Dane

Veterinarians in Portland, Oregon removed dozens of socks from the stomach of a Great Dane.

The LA Times reported the DoveLewis Clinic discovered the socks when the Great Dane’s owners took him in for a visit. They told the vet the dog was getting sick but they didn’t know why. The vets spotted something unusual on an X-ray, so they performed a surgery on the dog to find out what it was. That’s when they discovered 43 socks in his stomach.

He ate 43 socks. (Technically 43 1/2.) Hey look, who are you to judge? Maybe socks taste incredible! Have you ever tried one, Judgey McJudgerton-Judgepants. The owners said they had noticed some socks disappearing around the house, but like all of us, they just assumed it was the evil Dryer Monster who feeds on socks to keep him from rising from the appliance and devouring human souls.

The clinic submitted X-rays of the Great Dane to a contest called “They Ate WHAT?” but only managed to come in third, according to CNN. They were beaten out by another dog who somehow managed to eat a shish kabob skewer and a frog who ate 30 rocks. In other news, yes, I will now be officially covering the “They Ate WHAT?” contest forever and ever because I can never miss this ever again. According to Oregon Public Broadcasting’s website, the prize money goes to a good cause:

DoveLewis spokeswoman Shawna Harch said there were plenty of other contenders that the clinic could have submitted this year, including dogs that had eaten corn cobs, needles, skewers, a V8 can, underwear, bras and Gorilla glue (and yes, there is a video). Harch said the sock-eating dog was a first-time offender.

The veterinary publication awarded DoveLewis $500. Harch said the money will go toward DoveLewis’ Velvet Assistant Fund, a program for low-income families with pet emergencies.

The DoveLewis clinic is withholding the name of the three-year-old dog and his owners. They probably want to save him from public humiliation at the dog park or something. Sure, 43 socks is a lot, but to all the dog people out there, it’s really not all that surprising. Here is a list of things the dogs I have shared my life with have eaten:

Several bras
A Thomas Pynchon book (Mason & Dixon)
At least a half-a-dozen various Swiffer products
Every welcome mat I ever liked
Two packs of dental floss (by one dog, taken from two different bathrooms in the same day)
Almost two pounds of fudge
A box of Hamburger Helper