You know that thing where you’re a kid and everyone’s like “Follow your dreams,” and then you get a little older and you’re like, “Dang, I will follow my dreams—all the way to a sweet grill,” and then you get a little bit older than that and realize the only way to really follow that particular dream is burglarize houses in your community, take their jewelry, and get a kid in your shop class to melt down a bunch of bracelets and make the grill you’ve always imagined?
The Sun Sentinel reports that five Florida teens have followed this classic narrative path, forming a Palm Beach County Bling Ring of sorts, except, instead of celebutante verisimilitude, all they want is grillz. These teens broke into a house at 4:30 p.m. on Thursday, looking for gold—not knowing that there was “a boy” inside the house at the time, who hid in the bathroom and called the police. Police caught one 16-year-old teen claiming to be a “lookout” and grilled him, finding two bags of jewelry and also going through the teens’ group texts. Soon, they deduced that the 16-year-old was not actually the lookout, but the ringleader:
The 16-year-old was looking for gold from which a student at the teens’ high school was going to make a set of gold teeth.
The texts also revealed that the 16-year-old had been orchestrating multiple burglaries in the area in search of gold, according to the report.
According to the Sun Sentinel, there have been “about 20” residential burglaries in the area so far this year, several of them matching up on the days these young magpies skipped school. It’s like they always say: when life gives you lemons, burglarize homes so you can make a grill.
Image of Ryan Lochte, not a Florida teen, via AP