Finally, You Can Masturbate on Your Peloton

Between class prices and the exorbitant cost of having a home spin bike, indoor cycling is the great luxury item of this decade. Thankfully a new invention has come out to add a more tangible value than toned thighs and reduced risk of heart disease to the daily exercise routine. Just in time for the holidays, porn company CamSoda has released the O-Seat, a soft bike seat cushion that includes a pocket to hold the rider’s vibrator of choice. (Just when I thought SoulCycle couldn’t get any more challenging to tap-back on beat.)

According to the New York Post,  The O-Seat, which comes in three different colors, isn’t just for masturbating on the privacy of one’s at home stationary bike, but can be debuted in spinning classes and attached to road racers and mountain bikes: A perfect stocking stuffer for that one friend who has trouble fitting in both mountain biking and their masturbation schedule. The seat retails for $29.99 and sadly does not come with a vibrator; call me cheap, but for that price, there should be one in the package. CamSoda does, however, recommend the Lovesense Lush vibrator, which can be operated remotely. It  
costs $100: almost three SoulCycle classes or a first installment on financing a Peloton. But, the Lovesense Lush can also be connected to a user’s CamSoda account where other people can pay—actual money—to control a cyclist’s vibrator. Finally, a way to justify the cost of those classes.

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According to the New York Post, CamSoda has extended an offer to Monica Ruiz, aka Peloton Wife, to be the face of the O-Seat. Ruiz has not yet accepted this off as she is busy starring in ads for Ryan Reynolds’ alcohol brand that no one even knew he had.

Cycling and masturbation are both, in fact, great. Still, like the Tilt-a-Whirl and bean burritos, they’re the kinds of activities that should be kept entirely separate from each other. If you must multitask, save your money: grab a couch pillow and your preferred vibrator, tape them to a bike, and go to town.

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About the author

Shannon Melero

Spurned blogger. Out for vengeance.