Finally, an American Girl Doll For Me

Images via American Girl
Images via American Girl

Since its founding in 1986, American Girl has focused its energies on “fueling connection among girls and helping them to unleash their full potential.” But of the over 29 million American Girl dolls that have been sold in the past 31 years, I’ve personally identified with exactly zero. I felt left out and woefully unimportant. Until now.

Though the cast of dolls includes dozens of unique and wonderful characters any child would be lucky to meet—let alone own—none have ever acted as mirrors in which I could see myself. Take last year’s Girl of the Year, Gabriela. She’s a dreamer who loves “expressing herself through dance”? Nope! Not me! What about Julie, “a fun-loving, happy, spirited girl, full of energy and new ideas but prone to fits of despair at the upheaval of the world around her”? Close, but I still don’t know her. Kitt Kitteridge? Please, we all know she’s my nemesis. But take a look at Logan Everett, their newest addition. He’s “a boy who plays drums alongside his friend Tenney Grant, a singer-songwriter in Nashville, Tennessee”? Wait just a second. That American Girl doll

Like me, Logan is pale and sort of sickly looking, with an obvious Vitamin D deficiency and a haircut that’s not quite right for his face shape. His smile is only convincing half the time, and eyes are kind, but sad—like blueish windows into the mind of someone who’s trying (and failing) to mask a perpetual state of worry. Though his mother may approve of his wardrobe, more fashionable minds (such as Jezebel Culture Editor Julianne Escobedo Shepherd) would call it “wack.”

Illustration for article titled Finally, an American Girl Doll For Me

Logan also has a ton of girl friends. Not girlfriends girl friends, obviously, but friends who happen to be girls. They find Logan nonthreatening and fun to be around. He always compliments their cute new outfits, notices when they changed their hair, and will gladly listen to stories about their personal lives without ever feeling compelled to discuss that time he fucked Ken while Barbie was on a shoot, or that G.I. Joe swore up and down he was straight despite seeming totally into it. He’s quiet, you know? Happy to be in the background.

Illustration for article titled Finally, an American Girl Doll For Me

So I’d like to thank you, American Girl, for giving all the Logan Everetts of the world a voice. It’s about time.

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man

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Cherith Cutestory

Now you have your doll I’m ridiculously upset that you can’t have tea with Caity Weaver at the American Girl cafe. At least not at Gaw... Gizmodo Media’s expense.

This is my face now:

:( :( :(