Fifty Shades Auditions Reel Was Heavy on the Comedic Mismatches

If only Christoph Waltz really had auditioned for and been cast as Christian Grey, we’d have all the proof we needed to know that the universe is lorded over by an omnipotent being (probably a platypus) that takes a special interest in casting decisions on movies made about erotica bestsellers. Waltz would be so awkward and scary in a movie about BDSM, right? Then, all our all-powerful platypus deity would have to do is make sure Mary Louise-Parker got cast as Anastasia Steele and we’d have an awesome movie that looked nothing at all like its source material.