Fifty Desperate Fifty Shades of Grey News Pegs

Topical pegs! We’ve all gotta face newsfeeds full of them. But when something comes along that’s as culturally dominating as Fifty Shades of Grey has been for the last three fucking years, they sure can get grating.

Following are fifty of those stories, each of which is tied to the Fifty Shades of Grey book or film with varying levels of tenuousness. Enjoy, and get ready for years more of this.

There are two sequels on the way, allegedly. Why doesn’t reality have a safe word? 🙁

1. ‘Fifty Shades of Hay,’ the story so far
2. Fifty Shades of S’mores
3. Fifty Shades of Racist
4. Fifty Shades of Grape
5. More than Fifty Shades of Red
6. Fifty Shades of Beige: Staking Stylish Ground in Pre-Fall’s Neutral Territory
7. Fifty Shades of Saffron
8. Fifty Shades of Frustration: Why do Women Hate Best Buy?
9. Fifty Shades of Full Value
10. Review: The Great Gatsby: Fifty Shades of Jay
11. Fifty Shades of Zef
12. Fifty Shades of Duality
13. Fifty Shades of Danish
14. The Hebrew Hillbilly: Fifty Shades of Oy Vey!
15. Fifty Shades of Blue
16. Fifty Shades of Purple
17. Fifty Shades of Gold
18. Fifty Shades of Darkness
19. Don’t Miss This! Fifty Shades of Bambi
20. ‘Fifty Shades of Grain’ Features Artistic Woodwork
21. A Party That’s Fifty Shades of Pink: What Japan’s Cherry Blossom Festival is Really Like
22. Fifty Shades of Tarot: The Cups
23. Fifty Shades of Lava Cake
24. Fifty Shades of Melody
25. Tamarac Corruption Trial: Fifty Shades of Green
26. Fifty Shades of Dog
27. Fifty Shades of CNG
28. Fifty Shades of Fire Service Leadership
29. Fifty Shades of Snova Scotia Snow
30. Fifty Shades of Sunny Leone
31. Fifty Shades of Jealousy: Dogs Have a Variety of Emotions, Thanks Mostly to Us
32. Fifty Shades of Tan
33. Statitudes: Fifty Shades of Green and Yellow
34. Fifty Shades of Nuclear Energy
35. Rita Ora is Fifty Shades of Flawless on the cover of Cosmopolitan
36. 2015 One Act Festival Promises ‘Fifty Shades of Funny’
37. Fifty Shades of FMCSA
38. Fifty Shades of Social Media Measurement Tools
39. Fifty Shades of Black
40. Fifty Shades of White And a Touch of Red; Red Foxes in The Snow
41. Fifty Shades of Griechenland
42. Top Dog: PetSet Hosts Fifty Shades of Masquerade Halloween Party
43. Fifty Shades of Len Brown and Democracy
44. Hot Mess Alert! Heidi Klum in Fifty Shades of Red on Fashion Police
45. Fifty Shades of Autumn: Your Autumnal Pictures
46. Fifty Shades of… Blame? Common Excuses for Not Succeeding at Work
47. Fifty Shades of Stalin
48. Fifty Shades of Shady
49. Brave New Workshop’s New Show Fifty Shades of Gravy to Begin February 6th
50. Facebook ‘news’ is Fifty Shades of Truth

Image via Shutterstock.