Faux Stuffed Woman's Head: For Vintage Creeps With Questionable Taste

Having difficulty searching for perfect gift? Do you have a time machine? Well, why not take it back to 19-something-awful and purchase this glorious bit of crapsidermy, ideal for the serial killer or terminal hipster bastard in your life.

The “Stuffed” girl’s head (note: abuse of quotation marks has a long and storied history) will set you back only $2.98 and comes in all sorts of colors— blonde, brunette, redhead— in order to enable the busy modern man to both keep track of all of the women he’s ~~beheaded~~ had sex with and let visitors to his house know that they’re dealing with a real piece of work. According to the product description,

… the first realistic likeness of the exciting women who play an important part in every man’s life… and one of the nicest qualities is that they don’t talk back! Accurately modelled [sic] to three-quarters life size of real gals, these heads are so life-like they almost breathe!

Well I’m about sold! The heads came with a money back guarantee and request that the buyer specify what color hair they’d like their ladyhead to have. I guess that back in olden times, there were no black ladies.