Famous Restaurateur Bans James Corden From Balthazar, Calls Him a ‘Tiny Cretin of a Man’

Bistr-oh-no-he-didn’t! James Corden is being bad again—only this time, it’s in a brasserie. An Instagram post penned by Keith McNally, the New York City restauranteur that brought us Pastis, Minetta Tavern, Morandi, and Balthazar, is making the rounds for its strong characterization—never mind the pixelated photo—of the late-night overlord. According to McNally, two recent incidents have permanently cost Corden a table at the popular French eatery, Balthazar. And the cause was, shockingly, not his corny jokes.

“James Corden is a Hugely gifted comedian,” McNally writes, “but a tiny Cretin of a man. And the most abusive customer to my Balthazar servers since the restaurant opened 25 years ago.”

Now, if you’re thinking, “damn, Corden bleu it again,” McNally confirmed as much by providing not one, but two “manager’s reports” laying bare his alleged exploits. “I don’t often 86 a customer, to today I 86’d Corden. It did not make me laugh,” he added.

The first report says Corden showed a hair to the manager…after eating his main course. “Get us another round of drinks this second,” he allegedly demanded of the manager as a consolation. “And also take care of all of our drinks so far. This way I write any nasty reviews in yelp or anything like that.” I don’t know about you, but I’m imagining an intern being forced to write a Yelp review for Corden and now I’m thoroughly upset.

In the second report—dated October 9th—Corden’s wife ordered an egg yolk omelette and, much to his chagrin, some of the whites allegedly mixed in with the yolk. An egg white touching the yolk? The absolute nerve. Following yet another complaint, the kitchen re-prepared the dish (I’d wager some spittle was added as a secret ingredient this time), only the chef didn’t pair it with a salad, as originally ordered. “That’s when James Corden began yelling like crazy to the server: “You can’t do your job! You can’t do your job! Maybe I should go into the kitchen and cook the omelette myself!” the report notes. Fortunately, the situation was remedied with free champagne glasses, however, the account includes one last salient detail: “G. [the brasserie’s manager] said that Corden was pleasant to him but nasty to the server.” Corden’s reps did not immediately respond to Jezebel’s request for comment.

You can measure a person’s character based on how well they treat their server, as they say. However, you can also measure a person’s character by how many unsavory stories there are about them, and when it comes to Corden, there’s a lot. Peruse Reddit for even 30 seconds and you’ll find anecdotes about the comic—a generous term—throwing tantrums on-set, crashing a private Writer’s Guild Association meeting to advocate in favor of unlivable wages for starting writers, and ignoring his own wife and crying child on a flight. Basically, he’s the late-night Ellen Degeneres.

Personally, this feels bigger than your run-of-the-mill “celebrity behaving badly” story. James Corden being publicly banned from a restaurant for throwing a fit over his wife’s omelette is restorative justice for all the children of parents who’ve forced them to watch a “Best Moments” compilation of Carpool Karaoke on YouTube.