If you’re like me, you’ve never once been mistaken for an outdoorsy person—the kind of aberration who’d happily hike a hallowed national park over lazing on a chaise lounge at a resort; an untrustworthy rogue who’d take a ski trip and actually leave the lodge; a bonafide freak who’d consider feasting on freeze-dried food and shitting in the woods a vacation. In such case, you’re likely well-acquainted with the distinct humiliation foisted upon we, the marginalized, when others discover we honor the great outdoors a little differently.
It’s not that we don’t like nature. We, too, are moved by the sight of a sunset. So titillated are we by the notion of a nip in the air and the natural wonders of the world that we let out an involuntary sigh upon witnessing them. However, our definition of being “outdoorsy” is different. Quite simply, it’s serving a look™ whilst outside.
After many years spent masquerading as someone who would willingly sleep in a tent out of sheer fear I’d be perceived as the type of high-maintenance
brat many young women are indoctrinated to believe is unattractive, I’m shedding some layers in lieu of cuter, more expensive ones. That’s right, I’ve outgrown giving a damn whether or not future friends and partners think I know what kindling is.
In the truest sense of the word, I am an outdoorsy person. I’m just an atypical one. For the record, I became a Girl Scout only after I saw Troop Beverly Hills, and let’s be clear: Every square inch of my vest was covered in patches by the time I quit at 12 years old. I’ve even slept in a cabin once! I have simply redefined what a nature-loving woman represents.
If you were curious as to what she’s all about, here’s what she’ll be wearing when forced to leave her home this autumn, demonstrated by 2022 fall ready-to-wear runway collections. Why be one with Mother Nature when you can just make her jealous?