First thing to mention about this vaguely pornographic video of young goats drinking milk from two giant bottles strapped to the thorax of an overly-tolerant bull terrier: goats wag their tails! Am I just finding this out? My uncle had a bunch of goats when I was younger and they never wagged their tails. Were they miserable or something? I thought they were my good friends. I fed them old shirts and everything. Now, seeing these tail-wagging goats, I know that I was merely being put up with, like a cloud of flies or some other farmyard pestilence. Fuck you, goats β€” I was only trying to be nice anyway. I would have preferred a single dog friend to all three of you.

via Buzzfeed