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Extremely Relatable Woman Accused of Fraudulently Using County Credit Card to Buy a Tuxedo for Her Dog

Booking photo via Garland County Sheriff’s Office/Hot Springs Sentinel-Record
Booking photo via Garland County Sheriff’s Office/Hot Springs Sentinel-Record

A former Arkansas county employee is being (unfairly in the opinion of this blog) prosecuted for her alleged use of a state credit card to buy a dog tuxedo. Kristi Lyn Goss is accused of buying between $160,000 and $200,000 worth of other stuff on that credit card that wasn’t hers. In her defense, though, the dog was a pug, and that must have been adorable.

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The Hot Springs Sentinel-Record reports that Goss, who has been a Garland County employee since 2004, was arrested on six felony counts of fraudulent credit card use for a bunch of suspect-sounding purchases, which I am delighted to report are listed in an affidavit filed in county court. From the Sentinel-Record:

Some of the confirmed personal purchases listed in the affidavit included payments to Entergy for her electric bills of more than $4,400; to AT&T for her cellphone bills of more than $4,900; tickets to Arkansas Razorback games totaling $975; car payments totaling $1,200; her personal real estate taxes totaling $1,895; hotel gift cards totaling more than $1,850; a diamond bracelet for $128.98 and sequin throw pillows for $87.98.

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You are—as I am—no doubt only thinking about dogs in tuxedos right now, and we will note that Goss is alleged to have bought that pug a suit around the same time her children were attending the prom. Bet the pics were cute as hell.

Crime doesn’t pay, except in dog suits.

Anna Merlan was a Senior Reporter at G/O Media until September 2019. She's the author of Republic of Lies: American Conspiracy Theorists and Their Surprising Rise to Power.

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“a diamond bracelet for $128.98”